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Smokulism

      This is the official transcript of the original Revelation of Smokulism which was taped on August 21, 1997 in the Hollywood of the California.

      SMOKULISM: THE REVELATION

      I have called you here together to reveal the inner and
    hidden truth behind SMOKULISM - the National

    Belief System of Smokesylvania (NBS). This was

    revealed unto me on the sleepless night of August 18,

    1997 in the city of Mar Vista, California.

      The Spark of Divinity (S.O.D.) spoke unto me and
    revealed unto me several truths in the form of

    12 Tenets of the Faith of Smokulism (and no landlords),

    and other revelations. 

      I have with me tonight the Council of the Elders and
    Mothers of the Faith who will discuss with me the

    development of the New Order.

      We will discuss and consider the Tenets of the Faith
    and the points associated with the revealed truth.

TENETS OF SMOKULISM

THE NATIONAL RELIGION OF SMOKESYLVANIA

1. Everybody has a right to be happy.

2. God is in everybody equally.

3. If you don't believe in God, that's o.k. too.

4. Nobody has the right to blow themselves up or set themselves on fire for any reason. It is in bad taste to do so.

5. If you don't like somebody else or their religion, at least try to smile at them and don't talk behind their back.

6. If a man wants several wives he must sleep with each of them regularly and pay off their credit card bills.

7. If a woman wants several husbands she can have them only with express written permission of each of the husbands.

8. No one shall be forced to work at what they don't like to do- even if this means not working at all.

9. Two different pieces of music shall not be played in the same room at the same time if they can both be heard by the same people.

10. Banks can't charge over ten per cent interest for anything.

11. All international disputes shall be settled by volleyball matches. War is no longer acceptable.

12. Each human being shall be encouraged to have fun at least a couple of hours a day.

      These are the basic tenets of Smokulism.

      A committee of 5,000 shall be chosen from among followers around

    the world to meet for the purpose of expanding or changing the law. Their

    decisions must be anonymous and unanimous.

      This Steering Committee shall be in session 10 months out of
    the year. Each member shall be paid $100,000.00 annually. Their salaries

    shall be paid for by the Worldwide Smokulist Organization by

    volunteer donations.

      Every Smokulist shall be provided universal health care
    benefits with reasonable deductibles for themselves and their

    families.

      Anyone found guilty of crimes against society or doing bad deeds in
    general shall be made to confess on TELEVISION.
      Schools shall be created for creating stories and songs about the life of
    Count Smokula and his disciples. Stories shall be created

    each more fanciful and bizarre than the previous ones about his magical

    powers, lineage, etc. but no one shall actually believe them

    or attempt to spread their truth to anyone.

      Lastly, there shall be no particular clothing design associated with
    Smokulism, but new fashion statements shall be made each year, or at least

    on a regular basis.

NOW THAT YOU KNOW THE LAW, BE THE LAW.
    As this revelation took place on August 18, 1997, this shall be
considered a Good Day. Followers may sleep all day on August 18, if they

like. It is also considered the First day of the Smokesylvanian New Year - but

that is really an honorary title as the Smokesylvanian calendar shall be quickly

and quietly abandoned.

    Mar Vista shall be considered the City of Revelation
but all people are welcome to dwell in it regardless of their personal beliefs.
    Brooklyn, New York, also the American place of origin of
The Count shall have special city status. Pilgrims there may

ride the subway with awe, and caution.

    In the early morning after The Revelation there were pink clouds
in the sky. Therefore you may paint your ceilings with pink clouds to celebrate

The Revelation - but it is not absolutely necessary to do so.

    A once in a lifetime journey to Baja California is recommended
as a pilgrimage because The Count enjoyed that. But drink bottled water.

1997 COUNT SMOKULA

YOU TOO CAN BECOME A REAL  SMOKULIST! GO TO THE PANTHEON PAGE AND ORDER YOUR CERTIFICATE!

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